Now that we have completed Season 1 of "100 Women Who Waited", and shared the inspiration behind it, I thought it would be important to share the lessons to be learned from the first 9 stories, before debuting the Season 2 inspiration. Of course there are many lessons to be learned from these stories but here, is part 1 of the key takeaways.
Lesson 1: Waiting Must be a Mutual Commitment
This will not work if both partners are not committed to waiting. Amos 3:3 says, “How can two walk together unless they agree?” Pursuing abstinence in a relationship must be a commitment made by both partners. “He is waiting because I want to wait” will not work. This approach simply means, he is “not getting any.” Pursuing abstinence will not be successful or purposeful if a person is only waiting at the request of their partner. Waiting is a journey. Waiting is tough, and if both people have not committed to waiting and doing so together, this will not work. Waiting is something that can only be accomplished through God’s strength within us, and if you haven’t made your own choice to do so, you won’t last long. Additionally, being with a partner who is not committed to waiting could lead to them frequently and intentionally tempting you. Real spiritual growth is about being with someone who will push you closer to Christ and His will for your life, not someone who will draw you away from Him.
“I decided that no matter what, there would be no sex again until we got married. [He] agreed, and in fact, [he] told me that there would be no sexual intimacy at all.” - Thecia
“I was at a place in my life that I could not be in a relationship unless we were both seeking the Lord. I did not have to convince him to wait. He remained respectful throughout this process and never even asked or tried to do anything with me.” - April
April and Thecia made the decision to pursue intimacy with Christ. Intimacy with Christ lead to a separation from the men they loved; and separation from those men resulted in celibacy. When God returned the men they loved to their lives, He returned them with their own desire and will to wait. Their newfound relationships with Christ became a complement to the commitment each woman already had in her heart. This was a group decision.
“We set up boundaries, and in times of temptation we took turns being strong.” – Ronica
The reality is that sometimes you will feel tempted and you will struggle with the wait. When your partner is also waiting, he is positioned to support you at your times of weakness by being strong themselves.
Ronica and Angela teach us that as humans, we will fall short. Having a partner that desires to wait is crucial in times of weakness. It is in the times of weakness that you will appreciate the value in having a partner who pushes you to stay strong and stay the course. It is in those times that you see the greatness in who you are dating. Someone so great that he does not let you give into your flesh, even when giving in could potentially benefit them.
“If waiting until marriage had not been a mutual decision, I believe either one of us could have been persuaded to give a little more each time, blurring our boundaries, which would have eventually led to us having sex before marriage.” – Taren
Two individuals who are committed to waiting implies they each have boundaries. Boundaries are necessary for relationships. Which brings us to Lesson #2….
Check out Part 2 for Lessons 2-4 of the "100 Women Who Waited" Recap.