When I analyzed my own relationship(s) and inability, at times, to remain true to the commitment I made to myself, and to God – the project: “100 Women Who Waited” was born.
As a human, I obviously have sexual interests in men, but the physical urges were not that strong; so why the struggle? I certainly wasn’t struggling to wait because my relationship(s) were so great that waiting was deemed pointless. I was struggling to wait because I lacked understanding and vision of everything that is needed to #StayTheCourse in pursuing celibacy until marriage.
So, I did the only thing that I’ve ever done; I went to my support system. I leaned on the women who inspired me. I am thankful to have so many examples of women who chose to “stay the course”. I had accountability in the amazing women who surrounded me. Women whose lives and support and friendship was what lifted me and kept me staying true to that course, in times of temptation. Women whose love and marriages were a pillar of excellence and reeked of God’s favor. Most importantly they were women who had one important thing in common; they chose to pursue love and marriage, God’s way. They chose to wait.
These women were my mentors, my spiritual big sisters, my friends, my mom, my cousins, my aunts. These women are amazing, and the closer I drew to Christ and to renewing my commitment to waiting, the closer he pushed me to them. Coming closer to them gave me new excitement and reason for waiting, every day.
What God later revealed to me was that these women were pushing me toward my life's purpose.
Through these women and their wisdom, I was able to see why I had struggled to wait, and likely why my peers and friends did too. To keep their stories and the greatness of these women to myself would have been an act of selfishness. I wanted to share the women, who inspired me, with others.
When I started to look around, the list of broken women surrounding me was way too long, and I knew that I needed to be apart of the solution. Women who were broken from relationships that could have been prevented if they had waited. Women who chose not to wait and were now stuck in marriages and pleading with God to get them out of it. Women who were pregnant and left disappointed and abandoned by their child’s father. The list went on. One common thread remained between all of us; we wanted to wait and failed, miserably.
Then, there were women who weren’t so sure that waiting was worth it. These were women who wanted to wait but had never seen any examples of waiting. Women who didn’t think it really existed beyond the Megan Good and Devon Franklin love story.
Finally, I knew women who had been waiting their whole lives, and were barely holding on to the small pieces of hope that this was actually worth it. Women who had been celibate 5+ years and were reaching the breaking point and planning to give in.
So, 100 Women Who Waited is for all of those women. And, 100 Women Who Waited is for me.
I wanted the women surrounding me who were broken, lost and filled with the pain that could have been avoided, to be able to find a role model in them just like I did. 100 Women Who Waited is designed to renew the faith of all women in waiting. It is to serve as guidance for waiting, as well as testimony into the value of waiting.
If you find yourself questioning the purpose of waiting, read these stories. If you experience heightened sexual desires, read these stories. If you find yourself feeling pressured to have sex, read these stories. I struggled to wait because I lacked understanding and vision, but reading these stories exposed what I was doing wrong. I was going about waiting all wrong. These stories are meant to allow each person who reads them to feel as if they too are your mentor, spiritual big sister, friend, mom, cousin, aunt. Learn from them, gain vision from them, enhance perspective from them, draw inspiration from them. But most of all, recommit to waiting, start waiting, stay the course in waiting, because of them.