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No Try-Outs Necessary

When I reflect on the journey I took to reach my God-given husband, I smile and think how important it is for young ladies to know the truth. By this I mean, prior to meeting my man of God in 2006, I had truly believed that “trying out” was the only way to “figure out” if he was the one. I had bought into the gimmick that women could not possibly find their match without some dating and heartbreak in the process. I had also reached a point in my life where I wasn’t even sure that marriage was something for this generation anymore or at least not for me. I had watched my own family go through multiple divorces, and to say the least I wasn’t convinced that a Godly relationship could actually exist. It appeared to only be a theory and so instead I settled for the counterfeits.

Prior to meeting my husband, I found myself in relationship with a young man for about two years off and on. I was so convinced this man was perfect for me. I thought the way to make us official was for us to live together. So, I decided moving in together would be a wonderful way to solidify the relationship. It was not long before this situation quickly began to unravel and I was miserable. On the inside, I knew something was out of order.

This is when God decided to send me a message in the form of a four year old girl. With her sweet smile and soft voice she innocently asked me at a family BBQ, "Why are you living with my uncle if you are not married to him?" Bam!!! God has always used children in my life to reach me and this hit me like a ton of bricks. It was only confirming what I already knew, which was that something wasn't right. I went home that night and all I can remember was crying for hours. Not only was I living with this man, but I was living with a man who was not loyal, who was not saved and was not living a healthy or spiritual lifestyle. I knew something had to change. I took responsibility and told the Lord that I got myself into this, but I needed Him to get me out of it. The Lord wasted no time at all. Before I knew it I had packed up all my stuff and my dad had picked me up and moved me into my godparent’s house.

I was deeply saddened by the separation at first, so I began to call on God more and more. With each time that I went to Him, I found more and more comfort. The following Sunday I went into the church and left all my thoughts, perceptions and desires on the altar. There was a supernatural exchange that occurred between my old life and a new one presented by the King of Kings. In a moment, I felt my heart change and such love overpower all the disappointments of my life. I suddenly realized I had entered into a relationship with the maker of the Universe, talk about awe!

From that point on, I could not spend enough time with Him! You could find me at every service and bible study the church had to offer and studying His word whenever I got home. After a few months of time with God, a friend decided to introduce me to a minister at the church. I had never really noticed him before, mostly because I was just working on getting myself together and my relationship with God. We began to speak on the phone and God used him mightily to reveal truths in the Bible I had never come across in my Catholic upbringing.

One day he invited me to take a walk around a community park. This walk was a pivotal moment in my life. I remember telling him about my past relationships and sharing how thankful I was for them because they probably helped me to identify what a real man of God looks like today. Instead of agreeing with me, to my amazement, he paused and asked me very seriously if I truly believed what I just said. At the time I said, "absolutely!" I mean, how else would I have figured out what God wanted for me? His answer, "by God’s word." It took a minute to soak in while he continued to explain that most of the pain we put ourselves through in relationships is due to us not doing it God’s way. Sure, God can make something beautiful out of our mess, but think about all the needless heartbreaks we face simply because we don’t listen and do it God’s way, as explained in the Bible, in the first place.

I still thank God for this moment in my life because I realized then just how great the Father’s love for us is. God loves us so much, that he would take the time to direct us in every area of our lives including finding a spouse. He is not a God hiding the best from us, but one completely ready to show us what He has in store.

As I proceeded to digest the revelation I had just received, we continued to walk when God did something else I had never experienced before. After turning a few corners on the pathway, I heard a voice very clearly saying to me, “This is your husband”. Of all my years of dating and weeding out the men that came my way, never had I received a word from the Lord like this. It was true; he was to be my husband. And although I never told him that day what God told me, I decided this union will be done God’s way. I made up that day in the park, that we would not have sex until we were married. Of course there were times when we found ourselves too close and hopped in our cars to leave, but it was worth it. In fact I wish we could of set up more boundaries back then to make it easier because the flesh speaks very loud when it doesn’t get what it wants. Thankfully, we made it and about five months later we wed and were able to share our most intimate moments on our honeymoon as the symbol of God’s unity.

Today, my husband and I both minister across the world. We are Sunday school teachers, worship leaders, advocates for youth, mentors and intercessors. God has blessed our home with 3 handsome young men and a beautiful little girl, all of which I home-school. But I also want whoever reads this to know, that while we kept ourselves sacred, chose to wait until marriage to have sex, and chose the partner God desired for the two of us, marriage was not without it's struggles and difficulties. We faced many nights of crying out to the Lord to change our partner, which ironically ended up being God’s way of changing us. Times when Christ had to remind us that there is an enemy out to destroy us but it’s not one another. I’m very grateful and humbled today to be able to share just some of the pathway that led to my husband. Please stay encouraged, because God always knows better than us what we need and He loves to give us the desires of our heart. Blessings to you!

Click here for #TwoRingsToThinkAbout from Estelle's story.

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