Two Rings had the pleasure of sitting down with the beautiful, amazing, insightful and sweet-spirited Star Williams. Star is a former Miss Oklahoma USA, and a Top 10 in the Miss USA pageant. In addition, she held the title of Miss Black Oklahoma and was 1st runner up to Miss Black International, and all of this isn't even what makes her so beautiful. Star is amazingly beautiful inside and out. Star has a passion for Christ that is uncontainable and she has dedicated her life to full-time ministry , despite the many opportunities she has been offered in radio, tv, film and runway. Most of all, Star is abstinent and considers herself a "wife in waiting." She has committed her life to abstinence and we wanted to get the scoop on what keeps her going! Check out the interview below:
Two Rings: So lets start with telling us why you are waiting?
Star: We live in a culture that places the value of women mostly on their physical attributes and what they can do and give to a man. It’s done a good job at indoctrinating the female population, through movies, music, hip hop, and media: to see themselves less than valuable if they aren’t providing some sexual or sensual value to a man. It says to be whole and valuable, you must be the object of someones lust.
But, this is completely backwards from what God desires for His daughters. He’s called his daughters to be set-apart unto Him. Offering their bodies as living sacrifices, and not conforming to the standards of the world (Romans 12:1-2). He wants his children to flee fornication, sex before marriage; and glorify God in their body and spirit, which belong to him (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
Two Rings: So with that, how do you combat the world's view of sex and waiting?
Star: It must first be said that being single or “married to Jesus,” as I like to say, isn’t a disease in need of a cure. It’s a season, with a purpose. Single people, you’re not one shoe, looking for the missing mate. You are complete, and whole in Christ; and singleness is an opportunity of growth, discovery, and purpose. It is an opportunity to allow the Lord to work in you and through you, uninhibited by anything or anyone.
He’s shown me that marriage is more about purpose than fulfilling sexual benefits. It’s about two equally yoked people coming together to expand the kingdom of God. It’s the greatest and most selfless institution God’s created; and if done right, the greatest blessing. It’s a relationship of mutual submission.
Two Rings: So, how have you felt throughout the years being single? What is your life like while single and waiting?
Star: “Use your single years wisely, spend them serving the Lord to the fullest. Do all that you can for Him! Serve, travel, love, and give. Maximize this season and opportunity. ” -- This has been the best advice I’ve received on living the single season successfully; with a purpose; and my focus on Christ. As a woman, I have refused to become desperate. The options exist, but my single years have been a romantic adventure with the Lover of my Soul. Learning His perspective while steering clear of the faulty mindsets of others has taught me a list of things:
1.) Jesus is enough and I am whole in Him alone. He’s my healer & restorer.
2.) Marriage or a man won’t complete me, only Jesus can do that.
3.) My value and worth are priceless because Christ values me.
4.) I am a woman of influence with a significant calling, purpose, mission and destiny.
5.) I was born for such a time as this, to be a world changer. To stand out, not fit in.
6.) My source of Hope & Happiness is in Christ alone, now and forever.
7.) I can lean, rely and trust Him completely and always.
8.) Singleness is a time of preparation for marriage.
9.) Successful singles make successful marriage partners.
10.) How Christ treats the church, is how my future spouse should treat me.
11.) I don’t have to settle for less than God’s best.
My love relationship with Jesus is a beautiful journey of His goodness. Like all relationships or friendships, they must be watered and nurtured to grow and thrive.
Two Rings: That's a long list, but I love it! So, given that you are enjoying the "adventure" of being single, how do you pursue dating?
Star: For me this is a matter of being whole in Christ versus constantly searching for wholeness in another. I’m of the belief that if you have a desire for marriage; God desires to provide the blessing of an appropriate spouse: in His way, timing, and purpose.
My desire is to only date the one God’s selected to select me, my future husband. I call this courting toward the purpose of marriage. I want to keep my heart in tact for the one God has for me, not fragmented and fractured by giving it to so many other relationships. Dating person after person is practicing for divorce; and I’ve chosen to wait on the Lord for my mate.
Dating the worlds way, often involves sex or some kind of sexual compromise; and I rather not have the distractions of trying to impress someone who’s not my God sent mate and has no value for me as a daughter of God.
There is no such thing as “Safe Sex.” Sex always has a risk, whether emotionally or physically. Abstience is the 100% sure way to prevent unhealthy emotional soul ties; pregnancy; sexually transmitted diseases; and spiritual suicide.
In singleness I have made a choice to keep my virginity for my future husband. The one God chooses. I have placed value on being set-apart and pure, body, mind and spirit; and I know God will send a man of God with equal conviction on his sexuality and purity; and I have made a commitment to God, not to settle for less than His best. If I value waiting, I know God is able to send a man who values waiting equally as me. Practicing self-control before marriage, prepares a couple for trust and fidelity within marriage.
I’ve made a courageous choice. To wait for God’s best, in a culture that values quick, fast, overnight, and “do-it-yourself success” stories. It frowns on waiting, patience and surrender to the Lord; but I am determined to wait; and I know it is a good testimony for all. Patience is a virtue and helps perfect us, so that we may be perfect and complete, wanting nothing.
I believe God always gives his best when we leave the choice to Him.
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Stay tuned for Part 2 of this interview where Star breaks down the blessings of waiting and how she knows waiting is preparing her for marriage :)